nothing's left

sadness

i am feeling really terrible now. i guess i am down with a cold. The feeling sucks cuz i m feeling really lethargic and giddy. And, i hafta miss my prep camp for scamp. Feeling realli paiseh for that.


That aside. I went out with amanda on tuesday. Met up to buy stuffe at chinatown. I was late as usual. Mmm.. then we walked our wae down from china town to suntec then down to bugis for dinner. Then from bugis, we walked to kallang mrt station. I wonder... On our way, we were chating about a lot of stuffe. About her decision over her relationship and i pondered upon mine at that time. oct 2005 when i decided to let go of it with confidence that our relationship wasnt wking out due to miscommunication. I was asked if i regretted. Yes but if i were to go back to then, my decision will still be the same.

My heart is aching. Really aching these few days cuz i duno y i haf been missing him. The times or him? Till yesterday, when i confirmed with amanda that he is totally over, i felt an immense heartache. I wonder.. I tot i had prepared myself for this day but my heart ached more than i could imagine i am capable of feeling. It really hurts. I came to a point that i couldnt stop crying last night before sleep. I duno why. This morning, i started crying again. If it hurts so much, does it mean that u still matter to me? argh. lost or wad, i dunoe. This is what i call i 'u pay for ur own actions'. Oh wells. My life is such a mess.

Thats y i kept telling amanda not to make the same mistake that i had. I hope u guys will turn out fine at the end of the day depite ur current decision ya?

Ok, enuff of all these. Aza hailing! BAXIA!

posted by wong @ 11:27 PM