nothing's left

Heartfelt words

i know i closed down my blog not long ago. But blogging has been a place to pen down all my troubles. Therefore, i decided to open it again but not telling anyone anything. A plce juz to write

Tq'06 has ended. Insightful. Never tot that i wld be involved in organising such a big event. It's fun nontheless. I love it. Aloy, amanda and andy came down to pick me up thanks.

Aloy...
Noone noes abt this blog, so i can juz write anything i feel like it. ya...
I am sorrie. I noe i hurt u again. I haf many things i wana sae. I haf things about u i cant let go too. I dun haf the courage to tell u these in person. I am going to write it down here. It hurts me whenever i hurt u. I duno why. izit becuase i m still emotionally attached to u somehw? If we hadnt break up, will things be different. If things were like the past, i guess i would haf run towards u yesterday and give u a kiss and a hug and said that i love u. Sometimes, i really wana do all these again. But, i haf my reservations too. I fear that things may end up like wad are nw. I fear that things wil end sour. I fear that aft u enter uni, we may break up again. I fear that wadeva u r doing nw its because i noe u v well and we are so comfy with each other.
I have never hated u before. I guess whatever i want now like what i sms u. I really want some space and time and think abt everything still. I haf to admit that what i told u sat is not because i hate you. Its juz because u suddenly said u missed me so often that i got a bit scared. I fear wad i mentioned above. I fear that i will hurt u again. I dun want to, i cant bear to and i dun want to. U r really really nice. I am not saying all these to be politically rite or make u feel better. They are words frm the bottom of my heart. Whenever we part aft a mtg, or said some stuffe that hurt each other, there is this cant-bear-to-leave feeling and hope that everything is like the past. I duno how to tell you or say a lot of suffe. I really wana tell u a lot of things. Can we meet up aft moi exams or wad? I am really feeling miserable seeing u like tat. Dun u dare to tell me u r fine when u are not. I noe u r not. U r always lying ever since we broke up. U r always telling me things opposite from what u feel. U tink that i duno or mayb i really guess wrongly. But my dear, no matter hw different u were from wad i knew, u still squirrel urself up.

posted by wong @ 11:31 AM